Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Jun 14, 2013
India
Jun 14, 2013
When children bid
adieu to school they feel vibrantly alive. Many scenes live on in their
memory, as emotional associations – of many unforgettable moments spent
with their peer group. The parents feel that their children will soon be
leaving the ‘nest’, and embarking on life’s real journey. The children
realize that they have gained adulthood, and will soon be ‘major’
citizens of the country - with a right to an independent driving licence
and a bank account, a passport and the right to vote. But do we really
prepare our children for the vicissitudes of life? Do we equip them with
the suitable mental climate that will enable them to respond to the
changing weather of life? We as parents are by nature protective; we
generally go to considerable lengths to shelter our children from
challenging situations.
When the children leave school, they find themselves in a different atmosphere altogether. At
each turn they will face new hills and valleys in their landscape of
life, and each experience will be another milestone along the path. A
certain brashness and intolerance that they had when younger will
gradually give way. Through new experiences they will learn to
appreciate many things deeply – things that, in school, they had simply
taken for granted.
A good education is one that stands us in good stead in our subsequent work-life, and teaches us compassion.
When our children experience failures, obstacles and hardship, they may
become bitter and alienated, or mature faster. Each experience will
broaden them. It is important that they be enlightened, rather than
defeated, by the various situations in life. The most difficult troubles are often psychological and social, rather than physical.
There may be a setback, even a series of setbacks, which may throw them
into a state of depression. A black mood may hang over them. They should try and develop a habit of meditation, and be spiritual in outlook.
To
grow as human beings they need to imbibe the basic virtues of self-
enlightenment, discharge their duty towards society, have an unflinching
faith in God and compassion for all beings. With so many troubles, and
with difficulties galore, our children cannot handle the world alone.
They require the co-operation and blessing of many forces - some of
which they are not even aware of. They should remain connected to the cosmic consciousness, by enjoying the subtle beauties and energies of Mother Nature.
They should take care of all beings. All of us always have the power to
give something; nobody is so poor that he/she has nothing to give to
anybody. A good word, a cheerful smile, a cup of water when someone is
thirsty - any little thing that we have, whatever it may be – shows our
respect for other human beings. Our children have a special duty to be
compassionate to those who are helpless, and to the needy. Who else will
take care of them? All creations of God are worthy of love, care and
compassion. Let our children become compassionate human beings and learn
to be charitable. When they give, they shall be given back - in an
appropriate manner. However, they should just learn to ‘give’, and not
crave to ‘get’.
Our
children must meet their difficulties face-on, and live nobly. Whether
different challenges turn out to be victories or defeats for them at the
end, will depend not upon the nature of the troubles themselves, but on
how our children will manage their resultant emotions, thoughts,
feelings, imaginings and impulses. They cannot change their external
settings and circumstances, but they can certainly change their view and
mindset about the problems. As we manage our internal world, so shall our external life become.
By training themselves, our children may change the content and form of
their response to various stimuli. They should face the troubles
squarely - and feel inspired, and have the guts, to do what needs to be
done. When they have such an indomitable spirit they will not flinch
from looking into the eyes of the hurricanes that will come in their
lives.
An
enlightened person enjoys life as it is, and by doing so liberates the
creative person within. When we recognize, acknowledge and contain our
own difficulties, and are no longer afraid of the shadows that arise
within ourselves, we put ourselves in a position to think well of others
and to become useful to the world.
Dr. Rajesh Bhola
is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause
of children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and
multiple disabilities for more than 20 years.
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