Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Apr 11, 2014
India
Apr 11, 2014
Wisdom
is seeing and understanding life as a whole. The lessons we learn
especially from obstacles and hardships, as we travel our life-paths,
invite us to grow wiser as we mature. Experiences broaden us; difficult
experiences challenge us. Many of the important things are learnt the
hard way. Ultimately our wisdom becomes our most trusted source of
guidance. And when we share our wisdom, it becomes a touchstone,
providing inspiration, guidance and teachable moments for our loved ones
- as they may encounter similar experiences along their life-journeys.
As adults, we typically spend most of our time thinking about tasks and
events, and how we will move forward in our lives. We rarely take the
time to reflect upon the experiences we have encountered along the way
and the wisdom we have gained from living our lives. Life’s ups and
downs, wins and losses, heartaches and celebrations provide a
captivating and honest reflection of what has shaped our
beliefs and values. While each of our experiences is different, and no
two lives are the same, we can learn a great deal about ourselves and
grow into the persons we wish to become, by uncovering and sharing our
nuggets of wisdom. This is why learning from our past errors is so
critical to our existence. We should learn the art of turning our wounds
into wisdom. A bend in the road is not the end of the road - unless we fail to make the turn.
It
is the recollection of specific life experiences of courage, honesty,
humility, hard work, struggle, compassion and joy that goes straight to
the hearts of families and provides a lasting sense of generational
connection and gratitude. At some point in our lives we feel that –
‘I wish I knew more about my parents’ life experiences - what they cared
about, what struggles they overcame and why they made certain
decisions. Further - what did they intend with their gifts of
inheritance, what tasks remain unfulfilled, what did they want their
children to accomplish, how did they wish to be remembered, and how can I
learn from their passions and challenges?’ Cultivating our seeds of
wisdom through openness, intellectual growth and constant
life-reflection helps us live our life as we wish to be remembered. Sometimes
all it takes is one heartfelt nugget of wisdom, to provide the
inspiration, guidance or support to our loved ones - to help them live a
meaningful life. Wisdom builds on itself as our life-journeys lengthen
and deepen. However, we seem to experience, and learn from, life in a
compartmentalised manner. At work and in our professional environment,
we are normally organised and disciplined, clear in thought and
analytical, courteous and tolerant, and even choose our words carefully;
but, we seldom choose to adopt such behaviour at home and amongst our
family and friends. Life should be very similar to climbing a mountain.
We remember every move that we made while climbing a mountain. This is
exactly what we need to do in life if we truly want to succeed and
experience happiness, peace and a sense of accomplishment. Life too is
full of crevasses, steep ascents and sharp declines, sharp edges and
rugged patches. Amongst these lie several hidden opportunities – of
hand-holds and foot-holds. Such opportunities are plenty in life, but we
have to search for them and choose the ones that will take us to our
destination safely. We will have to experience each, and then let go and
move on. If we hold on to our hand-holds and never let go, we will
never get hold of the next one – and hence will never move ahead in our
learnings. This is also common in relationships, especially when we are
in love. People hold on to broken relationships unnecessarily for a long
time, and thus do not move ahead in life. They spend more time hanging
on, primarily from a lack of wisdom or a bad choice (as in choosing a
particular hand-hold). They tend to over-analyse, hang in there in
sorrow and wallow in self-pity. They will always have to leave one if
they are to get to another. Unless we let go of the hand-hold first, we
cannot hook on to the other and pull ourselves higher. We will stagnate
and eventually get tired of being stuck in the same place for far too
long. How we make use of hand-holds and how we manoeuver ourselves is
what makes our life a success or failure. We should also take the proper
equipment along. The ropes we use and the way we use them are akin to
the few precious relationships we have in our lives. These relationships
are nurtured by good deeds and behaviour, like the hooks and pulleys
that the ropes are passed through. The better our deeds, the stronger
are the hooks and pulleys. It is these relationships that help us climb
in our lives; and they are always there, beside us, when we fall. They
help us and support us. These relationships are often found in close
friends and some family members - and they last a lifetime.
People
who have passed through adversities become more generous, friendly and
willing to help others. What we learn from the experience of a less than
comfortable life is compassion and kindness. Let us all learn to be
enlightened, rather than defeated, by the various experiences of life.
Most of us painstakingly work to protect and then appropriately pass on
our finances, possessions and businesses - and yet somehow we miss the
opportunity to share our lives’ reflections and wisdom. We put off
getting to the heart of what really matters, until we reach the final
phase of our lives - when it is often too late, due to illness or memory
loss. The list of excuses is too long, but the solution is quite simple
- begin today, capture a few experiences that come to mind, and share
them…and then keep on reflecting, and sharing your learnings.
Life holds nothing new if we think there is nothing new to know; so wisdom includes knowing that we do not know.
Wisdom is the reward we get for a lifetime of listening when we would have preferred to talk.
Life
extends teaching beyond the school. In school we are taught a lesson
and then given a test; in life we are given a test that teaches us a
lesson.
Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
Difficulties are divine surgeries that help make us better.
Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents that, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant.
We probably learn throughout our lives from our experiences, but do not become wise because wisdom perhaps begins at the end!
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