Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Dec 20, 2013
India
Dec 20, 2013
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Life
means birth and death, youth and ageing, meeting and parting. A life
that we can be happy to live is not one in which we are constantly
trying to ‘live out’ only one half of these pairings – for the one
implies the other. Despite this knowledge, we try and isolate ourselves
from the elders when we are young; in exchange we get the same treatment
when we grow old. There is reciprocity in human relations. Reciprocity
means some agreement on equivalent service exchange; it involves an
understanding of what one ought to receive in exchange for what one
gives. In an inter-generational exchange, each generation may give at
different times, according to need; parents may ‘give’ to their young
children and, in later years, receive help from their adult children.
However, reciprocity may also be unequal.
The
social exchange perspective attempts to account for exchange behaviour
between individuals of different ages as a result of the shift in roles,
skills and resources that accompany ageing. Social exchange is composed
of some basic assumptions. A central assumption is that the social
exchange framework is composed of various actors (such as parent and
child or elders and youth), each of whom bring resources to the
interaction or exchange; and the resources need not be material and will
most likely be unequal. Another assumption is that the actors will only
continue to engage in exchanges, as long as the benefits are greater
than the costs, and while there are no better alternatives. It is
assumed that exchanges are governed by norms of reciprocity; when we
give something we trust that something of equal value will be received. A
concern in viewing social support from this theoretical perspective is
that a hierarchical relationship is implied. In this scenario, equality
is lost, and one will have more power or more resources. Because our
increasingly westernized society tends to give negative attributions to
ageing, it is not a surprise that the elders are seen as a burden. There
has been a drastic change in the flow of ‘services’ between adult
children and their aged parents. Due to economic transitions from an
agricultural economy to an individual and service economy characterized
by urbanization, the preponderance of the nuclear family and geographic
mobility, there has been an erosion of the traditional norms of family
obligation and reciprocity. Modernization has given rise to the loss of
control over resources, and thereby prestige, by older persons. This has
had the effect of lowering the likelihood and extent of support that
parents can expect from their children.
When
looked at from the beginning of time, changes in our life are called
development; when viewed from the perspective of the ending, they are
called ageing. The concept of spirituality, as being an inter-subjective
elevation of the biological, leading a person beyond self-centeredness
into solidarity with others, when applied to old age people, suggests a
spirituality of various human worlds. This thinking enables us to
take each other seriously in whatsoever state or condition we may be,
and prevents us from looking upon any member of the human family as
worthless or as a human deviant. Therefore, understanding old age
infirmity and disability does not require compassion, let alone pity,
but it does demand that one should be able to enter into a world very
different from one’s own. One must learn to see the way the other
worlds look from within the world that one has entered. Another approach
would be by means of denunciation; yet another might be to heighten the
awareness of one’s senses through the temporary elimination of one
sense, or feeling the non-functioning of some parts of the body, in old
age. The easiest sense to suspend is sight, which may be due to ‘zero
vision’, because of the onset of serious ophthalmic complications in old
age – though the experience of being forbidden to speak for a day or
spending a day in a wheelchair can be just as ‘enlightening’. For social
and economic reasons, the elderly must also live in the greater world,
which should be made more enriched and fulfilling with support from the
youngsters; this can be achieved most successfully if the adaptation to
the larger society springs not from a sense of deficiency and loss, but
from the realization of the intrinsic character of the world in which
one lives.
Disability
or chronic illness may occur in the later stage of our life. Our life
expectancies have increased by more than 30 years during the past
century. The older population is expected to double by 2050, due to
technological advances and our ability to survive disease, chronic
illness and disability. The elderly constitute a vast untapped resource
of skills and wisdom. Some advocacy groups, espousing the rights of
residents of assisted-living facilities, have started to come up.
Rehabilitation counsellors are now involved in all the aspects of the
lives of ‘disabled’ older persons – from providing physical help to
mental peace. Ageing individuals have the potential for continual
development and the pursuit of self-actualization. One way to reach this
potential is to incorporate and practise spirituality in one’s life.
This can help one to transcend the obstacles and negativity often
associated with ageing and disability. Each of the elderly should
identify a model of successful adaptation, which would not only help
them cope with their constraints but also bring out their potential.
A
large majority of people believes in spirituality. This can provide a
source of empowerment for the elderly. Having a foundation of faith can
also assist them in assigning meaning to life – in living a life with
purpose. Spirituality is a powerful tool and can be used at any time to
draw positive energy from. Modern society has valued intellect and
physique, and reduced its attention on spirituality and emotionality.
When we conceive of our self as nothing more than mind and body, and one
or both of these has been challenged irreparably in our old age, it
does not leave us with very much that is stable and intact. The balance
does change, however, when credence is given to the spirit, which seems
to be impervious to the onslaughts of age.
The
lessons in showing warmth and care for the elderly in the family should
begin in childhood itself. This sapling of love, care and regard for
the elderly, sown in the impressionable period, will blossom into much
better fruit when we will grow old. An inter-generational reciprocity,
to which we all need to be sensitized, will lead to inter-generational
solidarity, and will lead to happiness and contentment in families - and
will offer a more closely woven and caring society.
Senior
citizens, after reaching 60 years of age, experience less continuity in
life, more dissatisfaction, more social isolation, neglect, loss of
self worth; these feelings are more commonly found among senior citizens
living alone or without a family.
Spiritual
intelligence is the most essential to our well-being. It is concerned
with the inner life of mind and spirit and its relationship to being in
the world. It implies a capacity for a deep understanding of existential
questions and an insight into multiple levels of consciousness. It is
more than individual mental ability. In addition to self-awareness, it
implies awareness of our relationship to the transcendent, to each
other, to the earth and all beings. Spiritual intelligence opens the
heart, illuminates the mind, and inspires the soul, connecting the
individual human psyche to the underlying ground of being. It can be
developed with practice and can help a person to distinguish reality
from illusion. It may be expressed in any culture as love, wisdom and
service. It is related to emotional intelligence, in so far as spiritual
practice includes developing intrapersonal and interpersonal
sensitivity. Spiritual intelligence is the ability to act with wisdom
and compassion, while maintaining inner and outer peace, regardless of
the circumstances.
Dr.
Rajesh Bhola is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working
for the cause of children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental
retardation and multiple disabilities for more than 25 years. He can be
contacted at rabhola@yahoo.com
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