Being Transparent

Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Jan 31, 2014

 

Being in the field of caretaking for the specially challenged persons, I spend some time everyday listening and talking to them. As I tune in, a kind of resonance starts to occur - I feel something of what they feel. This experience of empathy gives us (my team) very helpful information about the suffering of the person and also enables us to assess and draw up a multi-pronged strategy to address the person’s special needs. These persons do not know how to suppress their emotions. They are very transparent, non-manipulative, clear and pure at heart. None of us can control our feelings and emotions; we can only suppress or express them. To express them is to be transparent, and that is what makes humans unique. Suppression means trying to hide certain energies - not allowing them to manifest. Transparency in behaviour keeps us upright and free of stress; we become like a mirror reflecting whatever is inside us. 

No human society has been able to accept its members as they are, and without creating certain ‘rules’ that those members are expected to follow. Why should a healthy human being have a duality of behaviour? Why should we wear two faces; why cannot we be happy with the one given by Nature? Being transparent means that we should show ourselves without holding back, and be willing to be truthful and real with everybody – rather than embarrassed. People who are not transparent are sneaky, secretive and normally not liked. Whenever we speak to someone with an open heart and a willingness to reveal our true self, we are being transparent. We let down our walls. It is a joy to be with someone who is transparent. Our hearts feel refreshed and open. We feel like we are receiving an invitation to genuine intimacy. The communication is real. When we are transparent, others in our presence find their hearts opening up as well. When we practise transparency, they feel more emotionally safe; they also feel more loved because we are being emotionally honest and real with them. Transparency is an attitude of responsibility for the good of others. They will appreciate us more because they are seeing the genuine, ‘real you’ - which is always more lovable than the ‘pretend, disguised, or hiding you’.

Transparency plays a very vital role in building trust between individuals. Transparent persons are authentic, and deliver their brand of honesty with respect and concern for others. They have no hidden agendas.  Information is shared openly yet appropriately.  Such people demonstrate being transparent by being congruent between their inner and outer selves. They keep no pretense. We can fake genuine consideration, but not for long; we cannot force an unnatural or uncomfortable bond with others. Of course it is usually not appropriate to divulge all information without discernment.  We do not need to tell everyone everything - but we never must lie. People respect both candour as well as discretion. We should learn to communicate both the good and bad news. Just tell the truth simply, with a touch of compassion when necessary. It may then not be that awkward to reveal personal information. Transparency is all about mindful revelation; so take advantage of opportunities to appropriately reveal the inner self.   Meaningful connections are built on mutual respect and communication; share things about yourself to increase your credibility in the relationship. It is good to responsibly share true opinions and emotions.  Never lie, but be responsible in the manner in which you share with others. Explain your reasoning for a decision, but not at the cost of someone’s dignity. You can strike a balance between being transparent and excessively personal. When you are transparent, the world will see the real you. While not lying to others, take steps to ensure that you are not lying to yourself. Ask those whom you respect, and prepare yourself to accept their feedback with an open and gracious mind.  While it takes courage to face criticism, appreciate the bravery it takes for others to be frank with you. It is good to own up to mistakes. Everyone appreciates someone who can admit a mistake. The act of owning up to a wrong turn, or a bungled attempt, demonstrates humility and a genuine desire to do the right thing. The more others see you modelling this skill, the more likely they will return the favour. It is true even at the workplace; a transparent organization will attract the best and retain the best, while an opaque organization will continually deal with high turnover or a disgruntled workforce. 

We all live surrounded by lies, secrets, deception, jealousy, resentment and hatred. The renewing of the mind does not happen overnight; it is something that starts on the inside and eventually manifests to the outward person. Many people often ask why they should choose to be so transparent about who they are and where they have come from. It is not our choice to be transparent; it is His choice for us to be transparent. We choose what He wants for us today, instead of what we wish or want for ourselves. Sacrifice of one's self is the ultimate sacrifice; sacrificing the desires of earthly life is what we owe to Him, who has loved us enough to redeem us from ourselves. It is believed to be our responsibility to be spiritually transparent, always tuned to opportunities to share His grace and mercy with others. We often get obsessed with what others expect of us or think of us. Our focus should be on our internal transparency. Transparency teaches us to smile at difficulties, at human imperfection and the human reality. True religiosity is more profound - we must go to the depths of our humanity. 

By being transparent we also start getting closer to a divine self-realization through the power of surrender. A pure and transparent heart surrenders in the true sense. When we invoke a higher intelligence or seek the blessings of our elders and revered ones, we are always transparent. We surrender to their higher intelligence and trust with absolute clarity. We accept the outer world for what it is, and take the responsibilities of our inner world. While bowing before Him in great deference, we become transparent to our soul. Transparency towards self and others brings us ease, purity, clarity of vision, self-realization and enlightenment. Our transparency is a gift that reminds us of the grace that flows when we surrender the outcomes of our relationships to a higher authority.υ 

Dr. Rajesh Bhola is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause of children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and multiple disabilities for more than 25 years. He can be contacted at rabhola@yahoo.com