Finding Purpose

Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Jul 12, 2013

 
People who come for psychotherapy to me often ask, “What is the purpose of life? I do not know what I am really here for.” Such people are still in the ‘waiting room’ of life, and long for that ‘something ‘ that they still have not found. They also feel that the moment they discover that ‘something’, they will automatically have a purpose that will define and integrate their lives. Some of them continue to live in the ‘no purpose’ labyrinth, and leave this planet dissatisfied. Yet, many do find their ‘something’, and live in harmony with their life’s new purpose.

Every person is here on earth for a specific purpose - even if it takes a while to ‘see’ what that is. Most of us struggle and search for how to make a meaningful difference in our and others’ lives, and finally live the life we are meant to live. We are constantly searching for ways to align ourselves with a higher calling and a deeper purpose.

How do we infuse our daily lives with meaning and purpose? We should try to be activated in body, mind and spirit, and equipped with a kind of resiliency, vision and creativity that transcends ordinary human capacities. We should strive for a new operating system – rather than an upgrade – to make our life happier and contented. It may need a lifestyle change. may be what is exactly required in order to find and live for a purpose. There are enlightened individuals who can help tap our immense human potential, empowering us to discover and finally live as per our life’s purpose.

There are also those who feel emptiness, a yearning, confusion – and even depression. At a primal level, there are believed to be three parts of our brain: the reptilian (instinctual), the mammalian (emotional) and the primate (thinking). The reptilian and mammalian parts of our brain are very basic in nature. The reptilian handles things like aggression and territory; the mammalian  things like food and sex. The third, the thinking and primate part of our brain, focuses on things like perception, planning and handling complex concepts. This is the part of our brain that knows deep down that we need to find a meaning to our life – a purpose. Purpose is what gives us the strength to carry on, through all difficult changes, transitions, relationships, activities and conditions. Even suffering ceases the moment it finds meaning. When living a practical life of purpose, we can see the picture at both the micro and the macro level. Our micro-level purpose is to know our values, and then try to be in integrity with them. The macro-level purpose is the big picture. Our values, strengths and passions must align, for us to discover our purpose. However, the most vital piece to the purpose puzzle is to learn how to give – rather than get.

All forms of life, all natural phenomena, have some purpose. There is always movement or evolution towards some kind of outcome or fulfillment - whether it is a tree that produces fruit, or clouds that form to create rain; or whether it is night or day. However, we humans become so wrapped up and possessed by our daily activities, engagements that the awareness of our own unique life purpose is easily dimmed - and then lost in wilderness. We are obsessed with ourselves.

There are consequences of not knowing or finding purpose in life. Many who have become successful in their work or relationships in their outer lives, yet somehow feel hollow, empty and unfulfilled. They feel defeated in some way, or incomplete, despite a conventionally successful life. Sometimes they wonder if they have been on the wrong path all along - chosen the wrong career, or the wrong life partner. That is because our true inner self always knows when our life purpose is out of sync with our outer life. The latter is often a false self, but we have identified with it because it has been so rewarding to our ego. Perhaps the path that was chosen for them could have been more meaningful or purposeful, if they had tried to discover it. Very late in life many people finally realize that they felt most in sync when they were helping people. 

Those who do experience a clear inclination, a purpose, but do not pursue or fulfill it, remain incomplete and dissatisfied. It is important not to confuse seeking happiness with a discovery of our purpose. Happiness is what we experience in the daily flow of life; highs and lows are situational, and will fluctuate. Purpose is deeper. It is more of an underlying sense of peace and overall fulfillment, a sense of integration and the continuous unfolding of our being. When we are living in accordance with our life’s purpose, we view the ups and downs, the disappointments and successes, as just a part of what we encounter along our path. 

The more we consciously infuse our thoughts, emotions and behaviour with positive, life-affirming energy, and with kindness, compassion and generosity, the more we keep our egos at bay - and are able to see our true purpose with greater clarity. There is happiness in knowing our purpose - what we must do. We must always live a life of compassion for others – to be at peace with ourselves.

Dr. Rajesh Bhola is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause of children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and multiple disabilities for more  than 20 years

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