Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Jul 12, 2013
India
Jul 12, 2013
People
who come for psychotherapy to me often ask, “What is the purpose of
life? I do not know what I am really here for.” Such people are still in
the ‘waiting room’ of life, and long for that ‘something ‘ that they
still have not found. They also feel that the moment they discover that
‘something’, they will automatically have a purpose that will define and
integrate their lives. Some of them continue to live in the ‘no
purpose’ labyrinth, and leave this planet dissatisfied. Yet, many do
find their ‘something’, and live in harmony with their life’s new
purpose.
Every
person is here on earth for a specific purpose - even if it takes a
while to ‘see’ what that is. Most of us struggle and search for how to
make a meaningful difference in our and others’ lives, and finally live
the life we are meant to live. We are constantly searching for ways to
align ourselves with a higher calling and a deeper purpose.
How
do we infuse our daily lives with meaning and purpose? We should try to
be activated in body, mind and spirit, and equipped with a kind of
resiliency, vision and creativity that transcends ordinary human
capacities. We should strive for a new operating system – rather than an upgrade – to make our life happier and contented.
It may need a lifestyle change. may be what is exactly required in
order to find and live for a purpose. There are enlightened individuals
who can help tap our immense human potential, empowering us to discover
and finally live as per our life’s purpose.
There
are also those who feel emptiness, a yearning, confusion – and even
depression. At a primal level, there are believed to be three parts of
our brain: the reptilian (instinctual), the mammalian (emotional) and
the primate (thinking). The reptilian and mammalian parts of our brain
are very basic in nature. The reptilian handles things like aggression
and territory; the mammalian things like food and sex. The third, the
thinking and primate part of our brain, focuses on things like
perception, planning and handling complex concepts. This is the part of
our brain that knows deep down that we need to find a meaning to our
life – a purpose. Purpose is what gives us the strength to carry on,
through all difficult changes, transitions, relationships, activities
and conditions. Even suffering ceases the moment it finds meaning. When
living a practical life of purpose, we can see the picture at both the
micro and the macro level. Our micro-level purpose is to know our
values, and then try to be in integrity with them. The macro-level
purpose is the big picture. Our values, strengths and passions must
align, for us to discover our purpose. However, the most vital piece to
the purpose puzzle is to learn how to give – rather than get.
All
forms of life, all natural phenomena, have some purpose. There is
always movement or evolution towards some kind of outcome or fulfillment
- whether it is a tree that produces fruit, or clouds that form to
create rain; or whether it is night or day. However, we humans become so
wrapped up and possessed by our daily activities, engagements that the
awareness of our own unique life purpose is easily dimmed - and then
lost in wilderness. We are obsessed with ourselves.
There
are consequences of not knowing or finding purpose in life. Many who
have become successful in their work or relationships in their outer
lives, yet somehow feel hollow, empty and unfulfilled. They feel
defeated in some way, or incomplete, despite a conventionally successful
life. Sometimes they wonder if they have been on the wrong path all
along - chosen the wrong career, or the wrong life partner. That is because our true inner self always knows when our life purpose is out of sync with our outer life.
The latter is often a false self, but we have identified with it
because it has been so rewarding to our ego. Perhaps the path that was
chosen for them could have been more meaningful or purposeful, if they
had tried to discover it. Very late in life many people finally realize that they felt most in sync when they were helping people.
Those who do experience a clear inclination, a purpose, but do not pursue or fulfill it, remain incomplete and dissatisfied. It
is important not to confuse seeking happiness with a discovery of our
purpose. Happiness is what we experience in the daily flow of life;
highs and lows are situational, and will fluctuate. Purpose is deeper.
It is more of an underlying sense of peace and overall fulfillment, a
sense of integration and the continuous unfolding of our being. When
we are living in accordance with our life’s purpose, we view the ups
and downs, the disappointments and successes, as just a part of what we
encounter along our path.
The
more we consciously infuse our thoughts, emotions and behaviour with
positive, life-affirming energy, and with kindness, compassion and
generosity, the more we keep our egos at bay - and are able to see our
true purpose with greater clarity. There is happiness in knowing our
purpose - what we must do. We must always live a life of compassion for others – to be at peace with ourselves.
Dr. Rajesh Bhola
is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause
of children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and
multiple disabilities for more than 20 years
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