- Dr. Rajesh Bhola
- India
- Jun 27, 2014
Life
seems to be going on smoothly. Then, one day, ‘destiny strikes’.
Suddenly, the things we had come to rely on are threatened. A loved one
takes seriously ill…or dies. Destiny, unfortunately, cannot be bargained
with. Last week a young couple came to see me, accompanied by their
teenaged son who is afflicted with Cerebral Palsy (CP). The father told
me of the terrible burdens he was labouring under. His child had been
doing fairly well, despite severe locomotor dysfunctions (like a lack of
control of his neck) that had confined him to a wheelchair. The mother
had given up a promising career as a senior executive in a nationalised
bank and dedicated herself to her child’s welfare. She had got attuned
to carrying out the commands (not always clear) given by the child. One
morning the child, now otherwise grown up, had suddenly started wetting
his bed. He was diagnosed as having urinary inconsistence. Objectively
seen, the situation had been just as bad for 18 years. So why was this
being seen as crisis time? It seems that both the parents had inwardly
set themselves to cope with the status quo - without expecting any more
compounding of the medical condition. They were somehow holding on to
the belief that the medical situation of their child was better than
other more challenged CP children. Unfortunately, it was now becoming
rapidly obvious that destiny had intended otherwise. This couple was
near their ‘tolerance’ limit. They felt exhausted. In such circumstances
there is probably no God to call to account. Suffering simply is. There
is no denying it and there is no one to blame – not even ourselves.
As a design, destiny is present at several levels. Cosmic Destiny includes inexorable events of nature like births and deaths, earthquakes and volcanoes, pleasures and raptures. Genetic Destiny consists of our biological inheritances. Cultural Destiny entails family backgrounds and social traditions. Circumstantial Destiny
incorporates crises, such as social catastrophes or accidents. Even
though a destiny may be traumatic, it forces us to struggle for
creativity. The process involves awareness, acknowledgement,
co-operation, engagement, confrontation and challenge, while
encountering and ‘managing’ destiny. Some philosophers conceive destiny
as positive, and fate as negative - but they cannot be separated. The
‘negative’ element in fate is integral to destiny. However, just waiting
for destiny to act would imply an end of purpose of all our actions.
The most baffling aspect of human existence is the role of destiny in
the lives of people. Many are the instances when even those who uphold
Dharma face difficulties, while many of those who hold power and pelf
manage to live well in spite of unrighteous living. The contrast to destiny is free will, but free will could be an illusion,
if we consider that our actions are the outcome of several unknown
brain-mental processes. There are certain areas in which man is free to
exercise his will, where he can choose between good or bad, right or
wrong, and for which he will be held responsible. On the other hand,
there are areas in which man has little choice of his own, and appears
to be a pawn in the hand of the mover. The general plan of things in
nature, which covers and controls the destinies of nations and peoples,
is one such area. Destiny is also referred to as ‘kaal chakra’ in Hindi
mythology. It is a notion sometimes referred to as ‘block time’. The cosmic arrangement is already following its laws; humans remain in harmony through God’s laws.
We
have to accept the reality of our existence. Sometimes, things appear
to be just impossible. However, just like someone keeps swimming to keep
himself alive in the middle of the ocean, we must keep doing whatever
we have to. We should have the willpower to skillfully overcome and
succeed. We always have a choice, and that choice is predestined – precisely because we were going to choose that. For good or for bad.
We are passengers travelling through this landscape in a vehicle that
is our own energy field, containing our spiritual, emotional, mental and
physical bodies. This vehicle is transported through this landscape by
the same unseen Driver that transports all vehicles on their paths here
on this planet. We do not really observe the passage of time. What we
actually observe is that the later states of the world differ from the
earlier states that we still remember. The fact that we remember the
past, rather than the future, is an observation not of the passage of
time but of the asymmetry of time and the constant changing pattern of
destiny. The flow of time is subjective, not objective. This is the
same time that appears to move so slowly when we are children, and
increases in speed as we age. Yet, at any age, it seems to move so
slowly when we are waiting for something we want to happen, and to move
so quickly when we are facing a deadline, or are running late. Destiny
seems to exist relative to the context within which we view it. If we
envision time as the true environment through which our paths lead us,
those periods of time would be like countries that all vehicles must
pass through. At a personal level, our lives have periods that contain
their own colour; those would be the stations at which our individual
vehicles stop, or linger. The longer our vehicle lingers at a particular
station, the more of that energy we absorb and carry with us to the
next. To put this in physical terms, if you were going to a place
where the language and customs were different than yours for a week, you
would learn a few words, pick up a few customs and probably forget it
all when you return. However, if you were to find yourself remaining in
that place for a number of years, you would adopt the language and
customs. You would begin to think in the new language and take on the
new customs as your own. That experience would be absorbed and
integrated into who you are and remain with you even after you have
left. You would still be who you were before that journey began – but
now enriched by that additional layer of experience. There is another
way in which we perceive destiny. This perception is much more
indicative of place. It refers to the experience of time as colour; not
as in yellow or green, but how a period of time contains its own
(colour of) tone and energy.
When
we prepare for our journey into this life we are perfect souls, with a
specific agenda based on the lessons that we want to learn, the growth
that we want to achieve and the souls that we want or need in this life –
in order to meet our goals. The soul plans where and when these
situations and other souls will be met. Most importantly, we plan where
in the timeline our journey will begin. That first stop is the
most important because we enter it ‘blank’. We are not born when we
enter this life…our bodies are born. We are not created and moulded by
our parents; they help create our bodies and enrich us with our first
experience The timeline known as ‘childhood’ gives us our first colours;
it colours our world as we perceive it and, even more importantly,
colours how we perceive ourselves. We absorb the colour of each time as
our own – adding a new one or reinforcing an earlier one. We see
ourselves and the world through that colour. As we continue on our
journey and travel the path of destiny to each new stop, some of that
colour chips off because it is not able to weather the conditions at the
other stops along the way. In the story of the couple narrated above,
it is not that the suffering in the lives of the young couple is
unbearable, in the sense of being acutely painful. In some ways the
psychological pain of being in flight from the present reality of one’s
life can be more disabling. As the parents reach a greater acceptance of
the condition of their child, they will bear the pain ‘better’…and even
have many moments of happiness.
While
the concept of destiny may be highly complicated, since the ultimate
‘decision’ lies in the hands of the all-knowing, all-beneficent and
all-wise God, the dictates of ‘justice’ will indeed prevail.
Dr. Rajesh Bhola is
President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause of
children with Autism, Cerebral Palsy, mental retardation and multiple
disabilities for more than 25 years. He can be contacted at
rabhola@yahoo.com
No comments:
Post a Comment