Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Jan 24, 2014
India
Jan 24, 2014
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Since
ages, we have been constantly fed on the images of ‘perfect’ beauty and
health. The art of portraiture has been the art of flattery. In the
process, we have started making secret comparisons between our own
physique and that of the artefacts, models, actors, actresses, athletes
and statues, which are so skillfully depicted or represented in marble,
films or advertising. We are constantly encouraged to lead our lives in
certain ways, and to acquire certain things, which we are convinced will
bring about a metamorphosis in us and will finally lead to happiness.
This is clearly misleading. It is important to be comfortable with our
body; feeling at peace with our body is our innate right, and duty as
well. If we feel icky inside our skin, ugly underneath our clothes or
frustrated with our weight, we will never be free, happy and leaping to
our potential. We are brainwashed into hating our bodies, and so we
disconnect ourselves from them. We live with a body, instead of in our
body. We go on crazy diets or binge; we lose our identity and the
connection to our true self; we feel lonely, lost and desperate; we lose
all hope of ever feeling happy again.
But there is hope.
Simply developing awareness of our own body will enable us to dive back
into a deep respect and appreciation of our natural shape; we need to
start feeling comfortable with our body – the contours, the shape, the
weight, the complexion and the features. We have to keep faith and
confidence that freedom and peace of mind is not somewhere out there,
but deep within; we will soon find ourselves happily accepting our own
self more. Soon we will realise that true beauty is definitely not
skin-deep. True beauty is a state of mind, not a state of our body. Our
body-love starts with the acceptance of the body that we have. Our body
is perfect in its imperfection. It does not need to be changed, caged,
abused, tortured or shamed. Our body is whole already – just the way it
is. One of the most effective ways to close the gap between the self and
the body is to become more mindful in our daily life. Feel the sun
on the face or the grass underneath the feet, massaging the feet and the
whole body. Take a walk in the park and breathe in the fresh air. Feel
the water on the skin while taking a shower, get a facial or a body
scrub, stretch with intention until all the body tension is gone. The
more we really feel our body, become present inside our own skin, the
more we will return to our natural connection to ourselves. We need
to treat our body as we would a friend: with deep respect, love and
care. We cannot let our body be an afterthought or simply an object of
deep dissatisfaction; we need to get to know it and listen to its needs.
It is quite OK to want to look good; good clothes enable us to do that.
Let’s go shopping and treat ourselves to something gorgeous; it does
not have to be expensive, but it should make us feel spectacular. Let’s
decorate ourselves and celebrate our beauty. Put away the ill-fitting or
shoddy clothes – it will not only de-cluster our closet but will also
de-cluster our mind. It will create space for new clothes with new
colours, which will add a fresh charm to our life.
When
we are young kids, we are innocent. We see beauty in everything. We see
kindness in every person whom we meet. In the old days, when we were
growing up, we were not afraid of strangers. When someone we did not
know offered us a piece of chocolate in a store, we said thank you and
took it – and we quietly hid it and ate it while mom did not see! People
were kind and generous. It is not until we are a certain age, around
puberty, that the questions start – when we question our looks, when we
see ourselves differently. It is then hard to ‘get back’. How can we
lose what we once had and how do we go from being so in love with our
self, to questioning our very being – even to hating the different parts
of our body? That spirited young child who was so very loving and
beautiful is still there. He/she is trapped – waiting for the rest of
the self to become whole again. Maybe we choose to not look in the
mirror because the reflection is distorted or because the mirror makes
us cry, because what stares back at us reminds us of what we have done
or not done; or maybe whom we see in that mirror is someone so many
years older than whom we saw last. Whatever the reason, or the time, we
need to reverse the process now and start a new one – because the beauty
has been there since we were born.
Let
us remind ourselves of what our body does for us on a daily basis, and
be grateful for that. The truly spiritual go to bed thanking their legs
for carrying them through the day, their brain for letting them think,
their eyes for letting them see or their hands for letting them write.
When we are able to do the same, the feeling of gratitude will almost
overwhelm us. Every night, before going to bed, or every morning after
waking up, think of five things you are grateful for and say them out
loud. Even if you do not mean them at first, after a few days you will
see how much more in tune you will feel with your body. Another thing to
be remembered is that our body hosts the sanctum sanctorum, where the
soul stays during its journey on this planet. But, unfortunately, the
body is prone to injury and has an expiry date. We should realise that
if any untoward thing happens to us, we do not see it as a sign of our
bad luck; we should not start to feel self pity or take the incident as
an indication that we are ill-fated or one of life’s victims. We should
strike the right chord with our body and start respecting it.
Dr. Rajesh Bhola is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause of
children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and multiple
disabilities for more than 25 years. He can be contacted at rabhola@yahoo.com
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