Respect Your Body

Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Jan 24, 2014


Since ages, we have been constantly fed on the images of ‘perfect’ beauty and health. The art of portraiture has been the art of flattery. In the process, we have started making secret comparisons between our own physique and that of the artefacts, models, actors, actresses, athletes and statues, which are so skillfully depicted or represented in marble, films or advertising. We are constantly encouraged to lead our lives in certain ways, and to acquire certain things, which we are convinced will bring about a metamorphosis in us and will finally lead to happiness. This is clearly misleading. It is important to be comfortable with our body; feeling at peace with our body is our innate right, and duty as well. If we feel icky inside our skin, ugly underneath our clothes or frustrated with our weight, we will never be free, happy and leaping to our potential. We are brainwashed  into hating our bodies, and so we disconnect ourselves from them. We live with a body, instead of in our body. We go on crazy diets or binge; we lose our identity and the connection to our true self; we feel lonely, lost and desperate; we lose all hope of ever feeling happy again

But there is hope. Simply developing awareness of our own body will enable us to dive back into a deep respect and appreciation of our natural shape; we need to start feeling comfortable with our body – the contours, the shape, the weight, the complexion and the features. We have to keep faith and confidence that freedom and peace of mind is not somewhere out there, but deep within; we will soon find ourselves happily accepting our own self more. Soon we will realise that true beauty is definitely not skin-deep. True beauty is a state of mind, not a state of our body. Our body-love starts with the acceptance of the body that we have. Our body is perfect in its imperfection. It does not need to be changed, caged, abused, tortured or shamed. Our body is whole already – just the way it is. One of the most effective ways to close the gap between the self and the body is to become more mindful in our daily life. Feel the sun on the face or the grass underneath the feet, massaging the feet and the whole body. Take a walk in the park and breathe in the fresh air. Feel the water on the skin while taking a shower, get a facial or a body scrub, stretch with intention until all the body tension is gone. The more we really feel our body, become present inside our own skin, the more we will return to our natural connection to ourselves. We need to treat our body as we would a friend: with deep respect, love and care. We cannot let our body be an afterthought or simply an object of deep dissatisfaction; we need to get to know it and listen to its needs. It is quite OK to want to look good; good clothes enable us to do that. Let’s go shopping and treat ourselves to something gorgeous; it does not have to be expensive, but it should make us feel spectacular. Let’s decorate ourselves and celebrate our beauty. Put away the ill-fitting or shoddy clothes – it will not only de-cluster our closet but will also de-cluster our mind. It will create space for new clothes with new colours, which will add a fresh charm to our life.

When we are young kids, we are innocent. We see beauty in everything. We see kindness in every person whom we meet. In the old days, when we were growing up, we were not afraid of strangers. When someone we did not know offered us a piece of chocolate in a store, we said thank you and took it – and we quietly hid it and ate it while mom did not see! People were kind and generous. It is not until we are a certain age, around puberty, that the questions start – when we question our looks, when we see ourselves differently. It is then hard to ‘get back’. How can we lose what we once had and how do we go from being so in love with our self, to questioning our very being – even to hating the different parts of our body? That spirited young child who was so very loving and beautiful is still there. He/she is trapped – waiting for the rest of the self to become whole again. Maybe we choose to not look in the mirror because the reflection is distorted or because the mirror makes us cry, because what stares back at us reminds us of what we have done or not done; or maybe whom we see in that mirror is someone so many years older than whom we saw last. Whatever the reason, or the time, we need to reverse the process now and start a new one – because the beauty has been there since we were born. 

Let us remind ourselves of what our body does for us on a daily basis, and be grateful for that. The truly spiritual go to bed thanking their legs for carrying them through the day, their brain for letting them think, their eyes for letting them see  or their hands for letting them write. When we are able to do the same, the feeling of gratitude will almost overwhelm us. Every night, before going to bed, or every morning after waking up, think of five things you are grateful for and say them out loud. Even if you do not mean them at first, after a few days you will see how much more in tune you will feel with your body. Another thing to be remembered is that our body hosts the sanctum sanctorum, where the soul stays during its journey on this planet. But, unfortunately, the body is prone to injury and has an expiry date. We should realise that if any untoward thing happens to us, we do not see it as a sign of our bad luck; we should not start to feel self pity or take the incident as an indication that we are ill-fated or one of life’s victims. We should strike the right chord with our body and start respecting it.
 
Dr. Rajesh Bhola is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause of children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and multiple disabilities for more than 25 years. He can be contacted at rabhola@yahoo.com

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