Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Aug 09, 2013
India
Aug 09, 2013
I know of two brothers who were the very picture of brotherhood. However, soon after they were both married, certain differences surfaced between their wives. For more than thirty years the brothers remained estranged; even their family members didn’t talk to each other. Both are grandfathers today. Fortunately, very recently, wisdom dawned on both the families. They finally reconciled. The wife of one of the brothers has already left for her heavenly abode. The grand children of both the families now feel that their grand parents should have lived more responsibly, and should not have created artificial walls between the families. They should have forgiven each other long ago.
The brothers and their families could have shared the journey of life in a more constructive, loving and fruitful way. We all carry burdens - resentments, acrimony, childhood difficulties, anger, fear – and sometimes for a lifetime too! Forgiveness allows us to let go of our burdens, which can weigh us down, and even lead to heart attacks and other physiological and mental ailments. The act of forgiveness has great healing powers and medical benefits. Forgiveness is a process that starts with 'me'; it is about 'me' letting others (who have ‘done me wrong’) go. Forgiveness means using our vital energy to tame our worries, hatred, chronic anger or fear. Forgiveness is learning to free ourselves, so as to experience the present - and to live in a more serene, loving, healthy and positive relationship with oneself.
Meditation helps us develop the habit of forgiveness. Bring to mind somebody you care deeply about. Let yourself be filled with the feeling of love. Imagine love radiating out from you to the other person. You may see it as light rays, or imagine feeling the person in a beneficial manner. You can also bring to mind someone whom you treat as your enemy. This time there may be other feelings present. Do not worry. Smile, and try to cultivate a loving kindness even for your enemy. You will see deep feelings come up within you in response to the awareness of the forms that appear in your mind; and you should gently but effectively contain these feelings in a nurturing way. This practice puts you in touch with your deeper self and strengthens you against the ravages of hate and delusion. You learn to be still in the midst of all that is going on, and learn to master your internal control. A sense of warm radiation will slowly come to you - even for your enemy. Gradually you will learn to be merciful. The emphasis should be on letting go of hurt, helplessness and anger, while increasing confidence, hope, happiness and compassion. People who learn to forgive experience significantly fewer symptoms of stress - such as backache, muscle tension, dizziness, headaches and upset stomachs. In addition, such people experience improvements in appetite, sleep patterns, energy and general well-being.
By and large, people have the capacity to make peace with their past. They then regain their ability to trust and love, and stop blaming other people for their emotional distress. They happily count their blessings, rather than complain about what has gone wrong. They understand that they need to look more at who they can become, and less on what has happened; and they look at each day as a fresh start. By forgiving, they begin to heal, in both the body and the mind.
We are turning a corner in our consciousness. More of us are realizing that the ways of hate and fear are not necessary; that there is another way, a more loving answer to our seeming problems - whether personal or global. As we learn to accept that our ego consciousness is a shared experience, we develop a better understanding of how every thought of forgiveness must have an effect somewhere. As each of us begins to practice forgiveness, a network begins to spread in different forms, offering a way for us to come together and change our collective experience of the world. The world is not what it seems to be. There is loveliness in everyone; but this is unfortunately mostly hidden behind a mask of fear. There are innocent and loving hearts buried beneath shrouds of guilt. Guilt has taught us to hate ourselves - and then our brothers. We have become afraid to love, and have put our faith instead in fear.
Our world will be whatever we choose to make of it. We can continue our old and ancient grievances, or decide that it is time to walk a different path. Forgiveness provides the alternative to hate and conflict, and to deprivation and suffering. Forgiveness teaches us that there is a peaceful way to deal with our differences, as well as to heal what seems to be a wounded and failing environment. Forgiveness is the opportunity to remake our world.
The
Bible talks of forgiveness such: “Do not condemn, and you will not be
condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Jesus asked for God’s
forgiveness of even those who crucified him, when he said: ‘Father,
forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ Buddhism recognizes that
feelings of hatred and ill-will leave a lasting effect on our karmas. If
we have not forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain.
That is what is reborn, that is what is suffering. In Jainism, as a
matter of ritual, the followers personally greet their friends and
relatives and seek their forgiveness. No private quarrel or dispute may
be carried beyond Samvatsari.
Source: http://fridaygurgaon.com/news/3758-I-Forgive.html
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