Navigating Rough Times

Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Nov 08, 2013


  Like all other sports, sailing also involves the knowledge of certain techniques. When the wind pushes the sail, the water generates a counter force, to push against the fin. When the sail is fully blown, it curves. Much like the wings of an airplane generating an aerodynamic lifting power, the curved sail generates a lifting force that points - instead of upwards - sideways. The combination of the counter force and the sideways aerodynamic force creates a driving force, to propel the whole sail and board into the wind. Similarly, while sailing on the high seas of life, we may come across all types of winds blowing over all types of waters. The great thing in this world is not as much on where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. To reach the port of enlightenment, we must sail - sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it; but sail we must - and not drift, nor lie at anchor.

A sailor feels safe when he is out of sight of land. It is the beach that worries him. Sailors do not welcome storms, but there is a calm that underlies their spirits. Whatever adversity we may face, we should find a way to generate a counter dynamic force, to help us sail into the wind of adversity. The moment when the fins of the yacht are fully pressed by the gutsy wind and the yacht is on the verge of turning upside down, is not the time to start learning self-defence. We should identify the forces we may need to sail into this adverse wind. Gradually we learn how to sail different waters. Sailing, learning from past events and then trying again, helps us become more comfortable in different conditions. There is no thrill in ‘easy’ sailing, when the skies are clear and blue; there is less joy in merely doing things that any one can do. There is some satisfaction on reaching a destination that we never thought we would make. The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. He that will not sail till all dangers are over must never set out to sea. At times we may be unable to complete a regatta, while at another times, despite imperfect conditions, ready to grind it out, we may be able to finish many regattas in our lifetime. Mark Twain aptly remarked that, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you did not do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore, Dream, Discover.”

It is indeed true that one of the most spiritually nourishing activities is sailing. When we step onto the deck of a sailboat, we step out of the world of day-to-day pressures and stresses. Here the crew and boat are pitted against the weather, the sea condition and natural or created hazards. When a boat leaves a harbour, the crew must deal with whatever it finds on the water. It can be fog, thunderstorm or high winds…or idyllic sailing conditions. There is no quick refuge. But since there is a singleness of purpose, life is ‘simpler’. The crew works as a team to sail the boat efficiently, to ensure safe and yet have fun. There is good food, good conversation and good camaraderie. The natural world offers good healing. There are beautiful sunsets...wind in the hair and sun on the face…new places and new ports. On the oceans we meet with seemingly curious dolphins and enormous whales. We realize that we as humans are only a part of Creation. 

During the course of the voyage we not only learn to face trials and suffering but also the need to express our deep gratefulness for what we have. When times are good, people take prosperity for granted and begin to believe that they are invulnerable. In times of uncertainty, people realize how powerless they are to control their own destiny and how difficult it is to sail through. If we begin to see that everything we have, or counted on, can just be taken away, it becomes much harder to take it for granted. So a crisis can make us more grateful, and in those moments of despair, this gratitude helps us cope. Consciously cultivating an attitude of gratitude builds up a psychological immune system, which can cushion us when we fall. Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy. Grateful people are more resilient to stress - whether from minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals. The contrast between suffering and redemption allows gratitude to break through. It works this way: think of the worst times in your life - your sorrows and your losses; and then remember that here you are, able to remember them, that you made it through the worst times of your life. You got through the trauma and the trial, you endured the temptation, you survived the bad relationship and you have made your way out of the dark. This process of remembering how difficult life used to be and how far we have come up, helps nurture gratefulness. The point is not to ignore or forget the past, but to develop a fruitful frame of reference in the present, from which to view experiences and events. There is another way to foster gratitude: by confronting our own mortality. Grateful coping might involve seeing how a stressful event has shaped who we are today and has prompted us to re-evaluate what is really important in life. A few days back I asked two of my friends, who had been admitted to a local hospital with life threatening and highly debilitating attacks of dengue, to re-create their experience and reflect on what they felt and how they expressed those feelings. In the face of such diseases, people often find life extremely challenging, painful and frustrating. I wondered whether they would find anything to be grateful about; in fact, at such times, resentment may overshadow gratefulness. Could they remember a time when they felt a deep sense of gratitude to someone or for something? Both had much in their lives that they were grateful for.

Our goal is not to just relive the experience, but rather to get a fresh, redemptive perspective on it. Emotional venting, without the accompanying insight, does not produce change. David Thoreau compares sailing with the journey of life: "The sail, the play of its pulse - so like our own lives: so thin and yet so full of life, so noiseless when it labors hardest, so noisy and impatient when least effective." There is no sailor whose boat has never capsized. To say this is not to diminish the experience, but to emphasize its universal aspect. The Art lies is being in command again. It is difficult to predict the arrival and the lifting of rough times; we should learn to endure all weathers. We must appreciate that there is many a seascape in the open ocean of life.. 

Dr. Rajesh Bhola is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause of children with autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and multiple disabilities for more than 25 years. He can be contacted at rabhola@yahoo.com
 

No comments:

Post a Comment