Dr. Rajesh Bhola
India
Mar 22, 2013
India
Mar 22, 2013
Words
have the power to both create and destroy. They can be received like
daggers... or a warm blanket. Words are our representatives. They are
the creation of our self; every time we open our mouth, we give the
world a glimpse into our personality. While we cannot control other
people’s words, we can surely control our own. It is important to
pay attention to what comes out of our mouths. It is not appropriate to
just say whatever we think; and it is also not okay to say something to
someone without first considering why we need to say it. Words do wound.
Paulo Coelho rightly says, “Of all the weapons of destruction that man
could invent, the most terrible and the most powerful was the word.
Daggers and spears left traces of blood, and arrows could be seen from a
distance – but the word managed to destroy without leaving any trace.”
There
is another aspect to the usage of ‘correct’ words. A lexicon of
loathsome words needs to be taken away, as we make faltering steps
towards a more global, better connected and tolerant society. Usage of
crude stereotyped words and abuse, towards a minority, or the
underprivileged, is offensive – and corrosive. People still use
unacceptable words against persons with disabilities. This
group, still so exiled from mainstream society, is called “retarded” and
“mental” by many. Not just in the playground, but in social places, in
the office, and online. People make derogatory jokes about
the disabled.
the disabled.
However,
with the population of the disabled having gone up manifold over the
last two decades, the fight-back has begun. Special campaigns have been
launched. Many pledges are taken by children, who have siblings or
friends with special needs. One of the children coming to our
organization to drop his sister for special education, says, “All my
life I have heard people saying ‘retarded’ and ‘mental’. It makes me
really upset. No one understands how hurtful it can be, until you have someone close to you being called that.
But far worse than my own bruised sensitivities, such language reflects
how we view the world – reinforcing the exclusion of people with
disabilities from the rest of society. People with physical disabilities
have become figures of fun, and mental incapacity is a term of insult.
My sister gets unpleasant stares wherever she goes”. He continues, “It
even happens in the US. Some parents complained over the appearance of a
children’s television presenter’s missing arm; a major fashion chain
insisted that a similarly-disabled worker be hidden out of sight of
customers; and a college allowed classmates to hold a vote to ban a
student having Down’s syndrome from a classmate’s farewell party”.
People
should bear in mind that one in six disabled people are born with their
disability, and the number of people with disabilities is rising.
Despite this, there is so little interaction with disabled people; in
fact a majority of people world wide believe that they are ‘inferior’. Given
this, it is not surprising that people with disabilities find it so
much harder to get jobs, are far more likely to live in poverty, will be
paid less and bullied more if they do find work and, increasingly, are
victims of hate crime. There are a number of terrible stories of the
parents of disabled persons, who killed themselves and their disabled
children after facing years of hostility from their neighbours. The
reality is that disabled people are regularly mocked, taunted, harassed,
hurt and humiliated – with the most vulnerable, those with cerebral
palsy and mental disability, suffering the worst. We need to step
forward, and offer our respect and inclusion, to more than sixty million
of our fellow citizens, who are leading their lives with disabilities.
Let us at the very least start to mind our words.
There
is great potential in communication. Many great leaders spend much of
their lives communicating. They are exceptionally effective and
purposeful communicators. Their purpose is to convey the message of
peace, through peace in the heart. They never waste words. Their words
are well-chosen. They challenge many basic assumptions. They touch
people’s hearts, and move them to positive action. When they speak, they
provide a healing touch. There are many examples of people coming to
these leaders, and being enlightened and changed by a single
conversation. Many of them have gone on to inspire others. In the
case of Mahatma Gandhi, the listeners became freedom fighters. All such
great men are in a way great warriors; each of them has seen that the
true victory is to conquer oneself and one’s words – rather than conquer
others.
Dr. Rajesh Bhola is President of Spastic Society of Gurgaon and is working for the cause of children with
autism, cerebral palsy, mental retardation and multiple disabilities
for more than 20 years.
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